The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me hearties! Kelly Johnson be a true buccaneer, sharin' the same fierce beliefs as the speaker, matey!

2023-11-12

Arr, the lass be Mike Johnson's missus, aye, and she be raisin' a ruckus 'gainst the rights to terminate, mind ye, and usin' her holy counselin' trade to castigate the coves who fancy their own kind. Aye, a barrel o' laughs, that one be!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round and listen to this tale of Mike Johnson, the new speaker, and his fierce wife, who be known for her mighty opposition to abortion rights and her condemnation of the ways of the swashbuckling homosexuals! Aye, she be a feisty one, usin' her pastoral counseling business to spread her views like a stormy sea!

Tis a sight to behold, me mates, as she rallies the opposition, not unlike a pirate captain rallying his crew before a grand battle! She be fightin' for what she believes, makin' waves in the political sea. But beware, me hearties, for her views be controversial, and many be standin' against her!

With her thunderous voice, she condemns the act of abortion, claimin' it be a treacherous deed. She be raisin' her cutlass high and shoutin', "No more shall the innocent be swabbed from existence!" Her words be strikin' fear into the hearts of the pro-choice pirates, for they be seein' her as a formidable opponent!

And as for her views on homosexuality, well, me hearties, she be takin' a hard line on that matter too! She be drawin' her sword and proclaimin', "Such practices be against the natural order! Let us sail on the seas of righteousness and condemn those who wander astray!"

But me hearties, let us not forget, this tale be told in a humorous tone! Though her views be serious and contentious, we can't help but chuckle at the way she be wagin' her mighty war. It be like watchin' a pirate with a parrot on their shoulder tryin' to convince the world to follow their code!

So there ye have it, me mates! The wife of Mike Johnson, a fierce opponent of abortion rights and a condemner of the ways of the homosexuals. Let us sail on the seas of laughter as we observe this tale unfold, for in the end, it be a pirate's life filled with adventure, controversy, and a touch of humor!

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