The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! King Charles, tha' ol' sea dog at 75, be still one o' the quirkiest captains on land and sea. Aye, 'tis true, says the tale!

2023-11-12

Arr, me hearties! 'Tis King Charles III, sire of Prince William and Prince Harry, who be takin' the crown o' Britain! The mighty Queen Elizabeth II hath embarked on her final journey on Sept. 8, at the ripe age o' 96.

King Charles III is getting ready to celebrate his 75th birthday with a tea dance at his private residence, Highgrove. The event will feature live music, afternoon tea, and an original composition by a 14-year-old gardening enthusiast. Guests born in 1948, the same year as the king, received an invitation. In contrast to his 70th birthday celebration, which included representatives from over 400 charities, this year's event will be more low-key, with only family and close friends in attendance.
Despite his age, the king still holds on to relics from his childhood, including a teddy bear that he clung to as a bullied child. According to royal author Christopher Andersen, Charles is known for his eccentricities, such as traveling with his childhood teddy bear and a custom-made toilet seat. He also reportedly brings his own chef to dinner parties to ensure he gets the meal he wants. Additionally, Charles and other royals allegedly dislike square ice cubes and carry around their own ice cube trays.
Andersen noted that palace aides must comply with Charles' demands or face his volcanic temper. As the king, Charles faces the task of preserving a 1,000-year-old monarchy that his mother nurtured for seven decades. He has already taken steps to slim down the monarchy, such as selling his mother's racehorses and proposing that some royals relinquish their titles. The future of the monarchy depends on what King Charles III becomes.

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