The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! CDC be claimin' that young swashbucklers be refusin' more vaccinations than ever afore!

2023-11-13

Arrr! The scourge known as the CDC reckons that 3% of young scallywags, settin' foot in the land of learnin' in 2022-2023, be escapin' the clutches of the four vital potions. Savvy? <i>WebMD Health News</i> be tellin' the tale, mateys!

In the year of our Lord 2022, the grand Council of the CDC hath proclaimed that a rascally 3% of wee lads and lasses be entering the hallowed halls of kindergarten without partaking of the four crucial potions - or as they be calling them, vaccines.

Arrr, me hearties! 'Tis a tale that would make ol' Blackbeard himself chuckle! These scallywags, not content with the protection these medical marvels provide, be seeking exemption from the very safeguards that keep the realm safe from the scourge of disease.

But verily, these exemptions be no easy treasure to acquire! The CDC be granting them only to the wee ones who face dire health challenges, forlorn allergies, or follow a path of religious conviction. Though these reasons be understandable, 'tis a dangerous gamble, me mateys.

One must wonder what be lurking in the minds of these clever scoundrels who seek to sail their way through the turbulent waters of childhood without the protection of the medical marvels. Be they influenced by tales of old, passed down from generation to generation? Whisperings of a time when pirates ran wild and fevers raged like a tempest on the high seas?

Or perchance they be swayed by the siren's call of misinformation, spreading like seaweed across the vast ocean of the internet? 'Tis a treacherous path indeed, for the uncharted waters of vaccine hesitancy be fraught with danger and deception.

Yet fear not, my fellow adventurers! The good ship CDC be on the lookout, ensuring that the vast majority of young buccaneers set sail into the realm of education with their trusty vaccines in tow. 'Tis a battle worth fighting, for the health and safety of our future generations be at stake.

So, me hearties, let us raise a pint of grog in honor of those who choose to walk the path of science and safeguard their younglings from the clutches of preventable diseases. And to those few who seek exemption, may they find solace in the knowledge that the winds of fortune can change at a moment's notice, and the tide may turn against them.

Fair winds and smooth sailing to ye all!

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