Avast, mateys! Eli Roth be chattin' 'bout twistin' the bloody horror o' beastly violence in Thanksgiving: "I be spyin' it through the eyes o' the turkey, arrr!"
2023-11-16
Arrr, mateys! Prepare yer ears to listen to this exclusive tale! Eli Roth, he be tellin' us why he despises the savage mistreatment o' animals in horror tales, and how his latest slashin' adventure be takin' a new path. Ye better be watchin' out, or ye might end up walkin' the plank, ye scurvy dogs!
Arr, me hearties! Gather round and listen to a tale about the fearsome filmmaker, Eli Roth, who be known fer his disdain fer animal violence in horror films. He be spillin' the beans on how he be doin' things differently with his latest slasher flick, mateys! Avast!Now, ye see, this Roth be a man with a heart as big as the ocean. He be seein' all these horror movies where poor critters be meetin' an untimely end, and it be settin' him off like a cannonball. "Nay," says he, "it be not right to be treatin' these animals so cruelly."
So, me buckos, he decided to be takin' matters into his own hands. He be craftin' a slasher film that be scarin' the pants off ye without harmin' a single animal on set. Aye, ye heard me right! No parrots be walkin' the plank, no dolphins be gettin' skewered. It be a pirate's dream come true!
Roth be explainin' that he be usin' state-of-the-art technology to create realistic creatures without puttin' a hair on their heads in danger. He be sayin' it be all about treatin' these critters with respect, like they be part of the crew. He be makin' them feel safe and secure, just like we do with our trusty shipmates.
But here be the best part, me hearties. This be a pirate film, after all, and what be a pirate without some good ol' fashioned sword fightin'? Roth be sayin' that he be keepin' the violence directed towards the scurvy dogs of the human variety. Aye, it be a bloodbath fit for the seven seas, just without the innocent animals walkin' the plank.
So, me mateys, next time ye be watchin' a horror film, keep an eye out for Eli Roth. He be leadin' the charge to a more humane way of scarin' the livin' daylights out of ye. And remember, even pirates be havin' a soft spot for our furry and feathered shipmates!