Arrr! Eli Roth be takin' a swing at a spine-chillin' tale o' terror set 'pon Thanksgiving, mateys!
2023-11-17
From a wee lad, the captain yearned to craft a gruesome tale o' the holiday. "Thanksgiving" be but a harrowing yarn, plundered from his 2007 rogue's preview.
Arrr, me hearties! Listen up, for I have a tale to tell ye! A scurvy dog of a director has had a burning desire since he was naught but a wee lad to create a film so gruesome, so dreadfully gory, that it would make even the bravest souls shiver in their timbers. And what be the subject of this horrific masterpiece, ye ask? 'Tis none other than the beloved holiday of Thanksgiving!Avast! This be no ordinary film, me mateys. Nay, it be adapted from a faux trailer crafted by the scallywag director himself back in the year 2007. A trailer so wickedly clever, it ignited a fire in his belly that couldn't be quelled until the full movie was made.
Picture this, me hearties: a Thanksgiving feast like no other. Instead of tender turkey and bountiful blessings, the table be laden with blood-stained carcasses and ghastly creatures lurking in the shadows. The very holiday ye hold dear turned into a nightmare of epic proportions.
But fear not, me lads and lasses, for this be a humorous tale! 'Tis not meant to be taken seriously, but rather to tickle yer funny bone and make ye chuckle with delight. 'Tis a twisted take on a cherished tradition, meant to entertain ye landlubbers and pirates alike.
So gather 'round, me hearties, and prepare yerselves for a wild ride. The director be ready to bring his vision to life, with buckets of fake blood, gruesome special effects, and a crew of misfits dedicated to bringing ye a gory tale of Thanksgiving like never before. 'Tis a film that will have ye laughing in yer boots and craving a slice of pumpkin pie, all at once.
So batten down the hatches, me mateys, and mark yer calendars. For when this film hits the theaters, ye better be ready to set sail on a twisted adventure that will forever change the way ye look at Thanksgiving - with a hearty dose of humor and a generous sprinkle of gore!