The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

In thar land o' Iowa, DeSantis be chattin' 'bout abortion to capture th' hearts o' ye faithful followers! Yarr!

2023-11-19

Arrr, the Florida governor be a-wheedlin' the white evangelicals by wieldin' Donald J. Trump's scallywag-like slurs 'gainst hard-line laws on the abortin'! Aye, 'tis a clever game of politics, me hearties!

In a display of political maneuvering that would make even the craftiest 17th century pirate proud, the Florida governor has set sail on a new strategy to win over white evangelicals. Adopting the language and tactics of the infamous Donald J. Trump, he is using the former president's own criticisms of hard-line abortion restrictions against him. Arr, tis a clever move indeed!

Like a cunning pirate captain, this governor be setting his sights on a particular group of voters - the white evangelicals. He knows they be a loyal bunch, always seeking a candidate who can protect their values and push for stringent abortion laws. So, what be his plan, ye ask?

Well, ye see, this governor be taking a page out of the book of ol' Trump himself. He be wielding the former president's own words against him, throwin' them back like a well-aimed cannonball. Trump had criticized hard-line abortion restrictions, claimin' they went too far, and this governor be usin' those words to his advantage.

"Ahoy, me hearties!" he be sayin', "Even the great Donald J. Trump himself be sayin' these restrictions be too extreme. If they be too much for him, shouldn't ye be thinkin' twice about supportin' 'em?"

With this clever strategy, this governor be makin' a case for himself while underminin' the credibility of his opponents. He be showin' that he be willin' to listen to both sides and find a middle ground. And in the eyes of these white evangelicals, it be a smart move that be ol' Trump himself would be proud of, even if he won't admit it.

So there ye have it, me mateys. The Florida governor be donning his pirate hat and takin' to the high seas of politics. Using the words of Donald J. Trump against him, he be hopin' to win the favor of the white evangelicals. Arr, tis a strategy fit for a true scallywag!

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