The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr! 'Twas a fearsome fiery blast! 1 soul be lost in the St. Paul suburb o' Minnesota!

2023-11-30

Arrr! Avast ye! Thar be a mighty blast 'n inferno in St. Paul, Minnesota! As per Cap'n Mark Juelfs o' t' Fire Department, a poor soul met Davy Jones' locker. 'Twas a Thursday mornin' when this misfortune struck!

In a jolly tale of unfortunate events, a home in a St. Paul, Minnesota suburb was leveled by an explosion and subsequent fire, resulting in the tragic loss of at least one life, as confirmed by a fire official. Ahoy, mateys! The incident occurred in the wee hours of Thursday morning, just a tad past 6 bells. The South Metro Fire Department Chief, Mark Juelfs, reported that the brave firefighters arrived in a jiffy and swiftly extinguished the raging flames. Yarrr, they did their best, but alas, a search of the wreckage revealed one unfortunate soul perished in the blasted garage.
The identity of the departed remains a mystery, and Juelfs informs us that it be unknown if there be any other souls dwelling within the house. 'Tis a shame, me hearties! "We cannot confirm any additional victims until we scour through the scattered debris," confessed Juelfs with a heavy heart.
Arr! As these events unfold, fire officials be collaborating with the local police and public works officials to uncover the cause of this devastating blast. In the meantime, let us remember that South St. Paul be a quaint city of about 21,000 souls, nestled approximately 8 miles south of the grand St. Paul itself. May the winds of fortune blow favorably upon the afflicted, and may we soon find answers in this tragic tale.

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