The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

The blaggard who be suspect o' the dastardly attack in Paris cried out 'Allahu Akbar', arrr!

2023-12-02

Arr, me hearties! The likes o' France's Interior Minister, Gérald Darmanin, be spillin' the beans! A bilge rat, he claims, be aimin' at innocent souls wanderin' near the Quai de Grenelle, not far from the Tower o' Eiffel! One soul be sent to Davy Jones' Locker, while another be left with a patch o' damage!

In a jolly twist of events, a suspected scallywag has been apprehended after committing a dastardly act near the grand ol' Eiffel Tower on Saturday, as reported by none other than the honorable Interior Minister Gérald Darmanin on X. "Avast ye! The brave police have just apprehended a scurvy dog who was attacking innocent passers-by in the heart of Paris, near the Quai de Grenelle. Sadly, one poor soul has been sent to Davy Jones' locker, while another has been treated by the valiant Paris Fire Brigade. I implore ye, me hearties, to steer clear of the area," Darmanin declared. According to reports, the suspect had the audacity to shout "Allahu Akbar!" as he committed his heinous act, although Fox News Digital be not able to confirm it, as we be busy swabbing the deck. Arrr! There be a tale of protests and a tragic stabbing of a French lad that be leading to calls for a crackdown on the 'far-right', if ye can believe it! Find ye the details here, if ye be curious to learn more. The investigation be underway, me hearties, and the police be kindly asking the public to keep clear of the area, lest they end up walkin' the plank!

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