The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The ship be settin' course to scold Jamaal Bowman for raisin' a false fire alarm.

2023-12-07

Arrr, the plan be to give that scallywag New York Democrat a proper tongue-lashin' for ringing the alarm bells in a House office! 'Twas a battle of the purse, yet 'e chose to start a ruckus. We'll teach 'im a lesson, we will!

In the merry land of Congress, where battles of words are fought and treasures of legislation sought, a mischievous act has stirred the seas of politics. Our tale begins with the daring New York Democrat who, in the midst of a fierce spending battle, decided to set off a fire alarm in a House office building, causing quite the commotion amongst his fellow sailors.
Now, the proposal before us seeks to formally rebuke this miscreant for his outrageous deed. It is a call for justice, a demand to hold him accountable for the chaos he incited. Picture, if you will, the scene: papers flying, panicked voices echoing through the halls, as the brave lawmakers hurriedly evacuate, thinking that the flames of destruction were upon them. But alas, it was nothing more than a prank.
But let us not be too harsh on our mischievous pirate, for his intentions were perhaps not as sinister as they first appear. In the realm of Congress, where tempers run high and stakes are even higher, sometimes a jester is needed to lighten the mood, to remind us all that even in the most heated battles, a sense of humor can prevail.
Yet, the proposal remains steadfast in its resolve. It seeks to rebuke this scallywag, not with swords or cannons, but with the power of words. It aims to condemn his actions, to remind him and all future pirates of the consequences that may befall those who disrupt the order of the ship.
So, let us gather, fellow buccaneers of politics, and decide the fate of this jester. Shall we reprimand him for his audacity, or shall we raise our mugs in laughter, appreciating the temporary distraction he provided? The choice is ours, but remember, in this grand game of politics, even the most light-hearted jest can have serious consequences.

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