The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrgh! Sen. JD Vance be sendin' a scurvy letter to Ohio State, demandin' they walk the plank on DEI matters, says I!

2023-12-09

Avast! Sen. J.D. Vance be seekin' a parley with The Ohio State University's new captain, Walter Carter Jr., concernin' the mystical notions o' "diversity, equity, and inclusion" what be floatin' about the ship! Arrr, be there room for such fancy ideas in our piratical halls?

In a humorous 17th-century pirate language, Senator J.D. Vance of Ohio published an open letter to the incoming president of Ohio State University, urging him to abandon "diversity, equity, and inclusion" mandates. Vance accused the school of using racial justice rhetoric to conceal "racial hatred" in its personnel hiring and curricula. He expressed his concern about the rise of racial prejudice on campus and threatened to reconsider the university's funding if it continues to promote racial hatred under the guise of DEI. Vance referred to an analysis in the Wall Street Journal which revealed that diversity considerations played a significant role in university employment in the College of Arts and Sciences. He claimed to have previously communicated with university administrators who promised to prioritize a more standardized hiring process, removing emphasis on immutable characteristics like race and sex. However, Vance recently discovered that DEI ideology has permeated teaching as well, with students being asked to unpack their privileges, including "White Privilege," "Heterosexual Privilege," and "Able-Bodied Privilege." Vance demanded a meeting with the incoming president to address the use of DEI ideology and seek clarification on whether discrimination based on ideological viewpoints would be allowed, as well as the inclusion of race- and identity-based lessons in undergraduate courses. Vance concluded his letter by expressing his intention to schedule a meeting at the president's earliest convenience to discuss these matters.

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