Arrr! Cap’n Penn’s crew scatters like scurvy rats after accusations of Jew-hatin’ be made! Walk the plank, mateys!
2023-12-09
Arrr, me hearties! Avast ye! The Cap'n Elizabeth Magill and Scott L. Bok, the Chairman o' the Trustee Crew, be walkin' the plank, forced by the scallywags, the politicians, and the loyal alumni! Blimey, the pressure be too much for 'em!
In a swashbuckling turn of events, the president, Elizabeth Magill, and the chairman of the board of trustees, Scott L. Bok, have been forced to walk the plank! Ahoy, me hearties, it seems that their time at the helm of this academic ship has come to an abrupt end.Arrr, tis no surprise, for the pressure on these poor souls has been as fierce as a raging tempest on the high seas. The donors, politicians, and alumni have banded together, like a crew of scallywags, to give 'em a taste of their own medicine.
Picture it, me mateys, the donors with their purses as deep as Davy Jones' locker, demanding answers and accountability. "We want results!" they cried, their voices echoing through the halls of academia. Politicians jumped aboard the ship, seeking to make a name for themselves by making these leaders walk the plank. And the alumni, oh the alumni, fiercely loyal to the traditions of the old sea dog, calling for change and improvement with the ferocity of a pack of hungry sharks.
So, the president and the chairman had no choice but to grab their tricorn hats and make a hasty exit. No doubt, they'll be sailing off to a calmer, less tumultuous sea, where the waves of pressure won't toss them to and fro like a mere dinghy. And as they sail away, we can't help but wonder who will take the helm of this fine vessel.
In the end, me hearties, it's a tale as old as time. The pressure of those who hold the purse strings and the power to make or break a ship can bring even the mightiest captain to their knees. And so, we bid farewell to Magill and Bok, with a glimmer of hope that the next leaders will navigate these treacherous waters with more finesse. Until then, we raise a glass of rum to their departure, and eagerly await the next chapter in this pirate's tale.