The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

As the tempest rages o'er campus with Jew-hating scallywags, ye conservatives astutely snatcheth the opportunity.

2023-12-10

Arrrgh, ye scurvy Republicans be plunderin' elite academies fer ages now! 'Twas a fierce clash in the halls o' Congress last week, and now even the landlubbers on the left be signin' up for the raid!

As the tempest rages o'er campus with Jew-hating scallywags, ye conservatives astutely snatcheth the opportunity.

Arrr, me hearties! Gather round and hear the tale of the Republicans and their quarrel with them fancy-pants elite universities. For years, these scallywags have been launching attacks on these institutions of higher learnin', claimin' they be biased and out of touch with the common folk.

But hold on to yer hats, me mateys, for there be new developments on the horizon! Just last week, a tense congressional hearing took place, and it seems that many on the left be joinin' the Republicans in their fight against these ivory tower dwellers.

Now, ye might be wonderin' why this be happenin'. Well, it seems that even the left be seein' the elitism and snobbery that be permeatin' these hallowed halls. They be realizin' that these universities be producin' graduates who be disconnected from the struggles of the common folk.

Picture this, me hearties: a bunch of well-to-do professors sippin' on their fancy teas and discussin' theories that be of no use to the average Joe. It be enough to make any self-respectin' pirate roll their eyes and reach for the rum bottle.

So now, both the left and the right be takin' aim at these elite universities. The call for change be growin' louder, and it be a sight to behold. It be like watchin' two rival pirate crews joinin' forces to take down a common enemy.

But me warnin' to ye all: don't be takin' this too seriously. It be a bit of a laugh, really. Like a pirate wearin' a powdered wig or tryin' to speak proper English. Sometimes, ye just have to sit back and enjoy the spectacle.

So there ye have it, me mateys. The Republicans be attackin' the elite universities, and now even the left be joinin' in on the fun. It be a battle of words and ideologies, and it be a sight that be pleasin' to the eye. Now, if ye excuse me, there be a bottle of rum callin' me name!

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