Arrr, be it right fer them thievin' scallywags to profit from a pirate's discount? Methinks not, matey!
2023-12-13
Arr, two scallywags be caught pilferin' from a landlubber's treasure trove, the Kohl's in Colorado. They be claimin' a misdemeanor charge, arguin' that the booty was marked down. Nay, says the crown! The prosecutors be settin' the record straight, no jestin' be allowed!
In a tale straight out of the golden age of piracy, two scallywags found themselves in a bit of a pickle after allegedly pilfering from a Kohl’s store in Colorado. These scurvy dogs had the audacity to claim that they deserved a lighter punishment for their thievery, arguing that since some of the items were on sale, it should be considered a mere misdemeanor rather than a dastardly felony. But the law had other ideas, me hearties, as the prosecuting scallywags would have none of their cunning plan!Arr, these swindlers had the temerity to think they could outsmart the authorities by using a twisted logic that would make even Blackbeard himself scratch his head in disbelief. They argued that the discounted booty should carry a lesser punishment, as if the sale price somehow absolved them of their knavery. But the prosecuting scallywags quickly pointed out that the value of the stolen loot remained the same, regardless of any sales or bargains.
Such audacity! These rapscallions must have thought they were sailing under the Jolly Roger, where the rules of society no longer applied. But alas, the law is as merciless as Davy Jones' locker, and it knows no mercy for those who dare to defy it.
Now, we can only imagine the chagrin on their faces as the judge swiftly denied their plea, giving them the dreadful news that they would indeed face the full wrath of a felony charge. No doubt, these scallywags will rue the day they thought they could outwit the authorities with their feeble arguments and twisted pirate logic.
So, let this be a lesson to all ye landlubbers out there: the law be a treacherous sea, and it cares not for your ill-conceived schemes. And as for these two unfortunate souls, they now face a fate befitting their deeds, forced to walk the plank of justice for their thievery. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, indeed!