The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the scurvy Dev o' horror hit Iron Lung be raisin' the booty from $6 to $8, claimin' he wants more doubloons. If ye don't fancy it, ye can "go pirate it or somethin'."

2023-12-18

"Avast ye scallywags! If I be not aimin' to garner me booty from 'em, I shan't be askin' for a single doubloon in exchange fer me treasures!"

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather round and listen well, for I shall spin ye a tale in the tongue of a 17th century pirate, packed with humor and wit. Brace yerselves, for I be spillin' the beans on a matter of money!

Now, ye see, me dear shipmates, 'tis a curious thing when someone claims they don't want to earn doubloons from somethin', yet still demands a pretty penny for it. Aye, 'tis a paradox more twisted than a mermaid's curls!

Picture this, ye scurvy dogs. Imagine ye be walkin' the plank, ready to part ways with yer hard-earned gold, and ye spy a merchant with a mischievous grin. "Avast!" ye cry, "Why dost thou charge a fee if ye don't seek profit?"

The merchant chuckles and be replyin', "Arr, me matey, ye catch me drift! If I didn't want to earn me pieces of eight from these goods, I'd not be chargin' ye a single coin for 'em!"

Now, me hearties, let us ponder this conundrum. Methinks this be a sly way to justify takin' our plunder without seemin' like a scoundrel. It be like a pirate claimin', "I'm not stealin' yer booty, mateys. I'm just kindly collectin' it for meself!"

But fear not, ye landlubbers, for there be a humorous twist to this tale. The audacity of a pirate who demands payment while claimin' no interest in gainin' wealth is a spectacle worth seein'. 'Tis like a parrot squawkin', "I don't want yer biscuits, but ye better pay me for 'em!"

So, me hearties, next time ye come across such a pirate, ye can have a jolly laugh. Just remember, if they be chargin' ye doubloons and claimin' no desire for gain, they be sailin' the seas of absurdity. Aye, 'tis a peculiar pirate indeed!

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