Arrr! The blasted scallywag, Green River Killer, be finally named after sailin' fer near 40 long years!
2023-12-20
Arrr, matey! Avast ye! Through the sorcery o' DNA testin', them scurvy Washington officials hath identified a poor soul slain by the likes o' Gary Ridgway, a scurvy dog who took the lives o' 49 lasses and wenches back in 2003.
In a tale fit for the high seas, those scurvy dogs in Washington have used the power of the mysterious DNA testing to finally put a name to one of the sorry souls who fell victim to the notorious pirate known as Gary Ridgway. Arrr, this scallywag was found guilty of brutally taking the lives of not one, not two, but forty-nine innocent lasses back in the year of our Lord 2003.Ye see, these clever landlubbers have been keeping the bones of those poor souls locked away in their treasure chest of evidence, hoping that someday they can give them a proper burial. And now, with the help of the mystical DNA testing, they have unlocked the secrets hidden within the very essence of these bones, identifying the remains of one of Ridgway's ill-fated victims.
Oh, but what a dastardly pirate Ridgway was! He sailed the streets, prowling for young women and girls to add to his ghastly collection. But little did he know that the winds of justice were blowing in his direction. With the power of DNA testing, these brave officials have brought him to justice, ensuring that he will never again set foot on solid ground.
It's a marvel, this DNA testing! With just a wee sample of blood or bone, it can tell a tale that even the most seasoned pirate would find hard to believe. It's as if the very essence of a person's soul is imprinted in their genes, waiting to be revealed.
So, let this be a warning to all ye scurvy pirates out there: the power of DNA testing knows no bounds. No matter how many treasure chests ye bury or how deep ye dig, the truth will always find its way to the surface. And the officials in Washington will be there, ready to unravel your sinister deeds and bring ye to justice.