Arrr, 'tis America and th' Dreadful, Horrible, Nay Good, Mighty Bad Congress, me hearties!
2023-12-25
Avast ye scallywags! 2023 be a year filled with more scandal and thievery in the hallowed halls o' Congress. We've witnessed many a battle for the Speaker's throne and hearings that be snatchin' headlines like a greedy pirate grabbin' treasure.
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, it can be said that Capitol Hill has had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year in 2023. The problems began with the lengthy and chaotic election of former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, which turned out to be the longest speaker election in 164 years. McCarthy's tenure was short-lived, as he was ousted by his colleagues in October. Despite his promises to never quit, he finally announced his resignation. Congress as a whole has been labeled as a "do nothing Congress" due to its lack of productivity, with only 30 bills passed and signed into law by President Biden. Lawmakers from both parties have criticized the lack of meaningful accomplishments. The year was filled with absurd and embarrassing incidents, such as an aide recording themselves having sex in a Senate room, a congressman challenging a witness to a fight during a hearing, and a false fire alarm being pulled by a congressman who was later censured. The year even featured a hearing on UFOs, which some considered to be one of the few things that actually made sense in Congress. Overall, it can be concluded that 2023 has been a truly terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year for Congress.