The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, be this private liberal arts vessel sinkin' in debt? Aye, should Alabama lend a hand 'n rescue it?

2023-12-27

Arrr, ye scallywags at Birmingham-Southern College be seekin' a fancy loan worth millions! But the state treasurer, that landlubber, be sayin' it ain't right to spend the good people's doubloons on such a venture. Avast, the treasure be elusive!

Arr! The tale be told that Birmingham-Southern College, me hearties, be in a tight spot! They be needin' a hefty sum of doubloons, aye, a multimillion-dollar loan, to keep their sails afloat. But, alas, the state treasurer, that scurvy dog, be sayin' it be no justifiable use of our hard-earned taxpayer gold!

Now, ye may be wonderin', why be this college in such dire straits? Be it the curse of Davey Jones upon their treasure chests? Nay, me mateys, it be a different tale altogether! This fine establishment be seekin' the loan to fund their educational endeavors and make their campus a sight to behold. They be wantin' to improve their facilities and recruit top-notch professors to mold the minds of young scallywags into fine scholars.

But, the state treasurer be havin' his doubts, thinkin' this be a waste o' gold. He be believin' that taxpayers should be spendin' their hard-earned pieces of eight on more profitable ventures, like buildin' bigger ships or plunderin' distant lands, arr!

Yet, me hearties, Birmingham-Southern College be arguin' that a good education be the treasure that lasts a lifetime. They be claimin' that by investin' in their institution, they be creatin' a brighter future for all. They be promisin' to produce fine scholars who can navigate the treacherous seas of life and contribute to the advancement of society.

So, the battle between the college and the state treasurer be ragin' on. Will Birmingham-Southern College be able to convince the state that their loan be a worthy cause? Only time will tell, me mateys! Until then, we shall raise our mugs of grog and toast to the pursuit of knowledge, for it be the true booty worth fightin' for, arr!

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