The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye mateys! Herbert Kohl, a landlubber turned Senator and Bucks Owner, has sailed off to Davy Jones' locker at 88!

2023-12-28

Avast ye scallywags! A scion of the family who built the great Kohl's emporiums, he be not only protectin' the federal coffers as a U.S. senator, but also spendin' grandly to breathe new life into his very own N.B.A. crew. A pirate with a taste fer the finer things, indeed!

Ahoy mateys, gather 'round and let me spin ye a tale of a scurvy dog from the 17th century, by the name of Herb Kohl. Now, ye may be wonderin' who this Kohl fella be, well I'll tell ye. He be from a family that started them fancy Kohl's department stores, aye, a wealthy lot they were.

But this Herb Kohl, he weren't just about sellin' clothes and trinkets to the landlubbers. No, he fancied himself a senator in them United States. Aye, he guarded the coffers of the nation, keepin' a close watch on them federal budgets. But here be the funny part, me hearties - while he be pinchin' pennies for the government, he be spendin' like a drunken sailor on his own N.B.A. team, the Milwaukee Bucks!

Now, what be the N.B.A., ye ask? 'Tis the National Basketball Association, a sport loved by many, where tall chaps toss a ball through a hoop. And Herb, he be ownin' the Bucks, tryin' to make 'em a championship team, he was.

But here be the kicker, me mateys - this Herb Kohl, he weren't just throwin' a few gold coins at his team. Nay, he be spendin' his doubloons like there be no tomorrow. He be pourin' in the booty to revive the Bucks, payin' hefty contracts to players and buildin' a grand arena for 'em to play. All while he be keepin' an eye on them government funds, mind ye.

So, there ye have it, me hearties. Herb Kohl, a pirate of sorts from the 17th century, guardin' them federal budgets by day, and spendin' like a drunken sailor on his N.B.A. team by night. Aye, a curious tale indeed.

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