The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye scurvy dogs! Many a landlubber hath spouted politics from this pulpit, but Biden be the first pirate of a president!

2024-01-08

Arrr! Cap'n Biden, he be visitin' Emanuel A.M.E. Church after a scurvy racist massacre in 2015, to mourn with a shaken congregation. Now, he be returnin' to warn o' the political dangers o' hate-filled violence, lest it be causin' more trouble fer us all!

In the jargon of our good ol' 17th century pirates, let me regale ye with a tale 'bout Mr. Biden, a fine gent who, after a jolly unpleasant racist bloodbath back in 2015, sailed his way to Emanuel A.M.E. Church. Now, bearin' witness to a congregation shattered by grief, he did what any decent pirate would do - mourned alongside 'em. 'Twas a display of empathy that'd melt even the hardiest of pirate hearts.
But now, me hearties, he's back! And this time, he's not just here for a jolly good cry. Nay, Mr. Biden be settin' sail once more to warn us all about the dangers o' hate-fueled violence in the realm of politics. Arrr, ye heard it right, me mateys! Aye, he be fearin' the political threats that lurk in the depths, and he's got a message to share with all ye landlubbers.
Ye see, hate-filled violence be a treacherous wave that threatens to sink us all. It be like a cannonball, tearin' through the fabric of our society, leavin' naught but destruction in its wake. And that's why Mr. Biden be donning his tricorn hat once more, takin' to the pulpit to sound the alarm. He be raisin' his voice, louder than a cannon blast, to remind us all that unity be our life raft against this turbulent sea of hate.
So gather 'round, me shipmates, and listen well to the words of this seasoned pirate. Let his tales of sorrow and warning remind ye that we be stronger together, that love be the wind that fills our sails. For if we don't heed his message, if we let hate steer our course, we'll find ourselves dashed upon the rocks, doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.
And so, me hearties, let us take heed of Mr. Biden's call. Let us stand strong against hate, like a mighty fortress standin' against the onslaught of a pirate raid. Together, we can chart a course to a brighter horizon, where love be the North Star guidin' our way. Yo ho ho, me hearties, let love prevail!

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