The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me eyes be witnessin' a right ol' scuffle amidst me neighbors, wieldin' garden tools in a peaceful cul-de-sac!

2024-01-14

Arrr, in the land o' U.K., scallywags be captured on camera, a-arguin' o'er garden tools! Blimey, one o' them sea dogs even be hurlin' a pair o' prunin' clippers straight at his matey's noggin! Walk the plank, ye landlubber!

In a humorous and exaggerated 17th-century pirate language, there be a wild video out o' the U.K. that be showin' two scurvy dogs fightin' over their gardenin' tools like a pair of landlubbers. One of 'em be gettin' a nasty wound to his noggin', which had t' be glued shut, according t' local reports, arrr!

These two neighbors, Dean Nicholas and Paul Benton, had themselves a tussle outside their homes in the Ashby Close cul-de-sac in Northamptonshire in 2021. And believe it or not, it be endin' up in court years later, mateys! Aye, ye heard right, the court!

A video captured by another neighbor shows Nicholas and Benton standin' outside in their neighborhood in July 2021. And then, out o' nowhere, Nicholas be throwin' a pair o' sharp clippers at Benton's head, by Davy Jones' locker!

Nicholas be shoutin' curses at Benton as he be holdin' the clippers and another pair o' gardenin' shears. Benton be tryin' t' calm the situation down, sayin', "Calm down. I can’t believe ye’ve just done that." But Nicholas be not takin' the warnin' kindly, matey!

Nicholas be headin' back to his home but be turnin' back around t' continue yellin' at Benton. And Benton be claimin' that Nicholas almost gave him a heart attack, swearin' like a sailor, he be!

Prosecutors be sayin' that this whole shebang started when Benton be in his garden and noticed Nicholas sittin' in his car. He be callin' Nicholas over, and that be when the trouble started, by Blackbeard's beard!

Nicholas be pickin' up a large metal bar and them clippers, throwin' 'em at Benton's poor head. Benton be tryin' t' explain that he just wanted t' go back into his garden, but Nicholas be havin' none of it, ye scurvy dog!

Benton's head be needin' some medical attention at Kettering General Hospital, where they be gluin' his wound shut, arrr!

Nicholas went t' court denyin' inflictin' harm, but the judge be findin' him guilty. He be sentenced t' 45 weeks in prison, and the judge be sayin' he has a "good chance" o' rehabilitation, aye! And on top o' that, Nicholas be ordered t' pay Benton a sum o' £280, or roughly $356, in compensation. That be a hefty price for a pair o' gardenin' tools, me hearties!

So there ye have it, the tale o' the two neighbors fightin' over their gardenin' tools like a pair o' scallywags. Let this be a lesson, mateys, that ye should always be keepin' a civil tongue in yer head and be mindful o' where ye be throwin' yer clippers, or ye might just end up in a pirate's court!

Read the Original Article