The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The scurvy Malaysians be admitting their foul deed, conspiring in the Bali bombing of 2002. Walk the plank, ye scoundrels!

2024-01-16

Arr, them scurvy dogs, held captive by them United States fer two score and a year, as loyal lieutenants t' a scallywag from Southeast Asia, be plead'n their case at Guantánamo Bay.

Arr, me hearties! Listen up, for I have the tale of some scoundrels who've been kept by the landlubbers in the United States for a good twenty years! These sorry souls, who were naught but lieutenants to a dastardly Southeast Asian terrorist, finally had to speak up and enter their pleas at the infamous Guantánamo Bay.

Now, ye might be wonderin' why it took 'em so long to take a stand. Well, it seems the United States has quite the knack for keepin' prisoners, especially ones who may have ties to piracy and other unsavory activities. Can ye imagine? Twenty years o' bein' stuck in a place like that, with naught but the ocean's salty breeze to keep ye company!

But let's not be too harsh on these men, for they were only mere lieutenants. Perhaps they were just followin' orders from their fearsome captain, that Southeast Asian terrorist scallywag. They may have been caught up in the wrong tide, forced to sail the treacherous seas of piracy against their will. Who knows what kind of threats and promises this captain made to bend 'em to his wicked ways?

Now, as they entered their pleas at Guantánamo Bay, I can't help but wonder what they be plead'n for. Freedom, perhaps? 'Tis a mighty fine thing to hope for, but after two decades, one must wonder if the ocean breeze has whispered tales of liberty into their ears or if they've grown too accustomed to the life of a prisoner.

So, me hearties, let this be a lesson to ye all. Be careful who ye choose to sail with, for the seas of piracy be dangerous and unforgiving. And if ye do find yerself in the clutches of the United States, ye better hope ye don't end up spendin' the rest of yer days in a place like Guantánamo Bay.

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