The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, as the Finals update be approachin', the scallywag Light players be feelin' the wrath, makin' the ailing FPS class suffer even greater!

2024-01-17

Avast ye, me hearties! Bid a sorrowful farewell to thee fair Lights, for they hath met their wat'ry grave in the year o' our Lord 2024. 'Tis a sad tale indeed, but fear not, fer we shall soon find new luminous treasures to guide our way through the murky depths of the night! Arrr!

Arr me hearties! Gather round and listen to the tale of RIP Lights, the unfortunate victim of the treacherous 2023-2024. Aye, 'twas a dark time indeed for the landlubbers who relied on the luminous glow of these electric contraptions.

Now, let me set the stage for ye, me fellow mateys. The year was 2023, and the world was abuzz with these newfangled contrivances called light bulbs. They brought light to the darkest corners of the ship and saved many a clumsy pirate from tripping over his own peg leg. But little did we know, these lights were destined to meet their doom...

It started with a flicker, a mere spark of defiance from the bulbs. We thought it be but a minor inconvenience, a temporary annoyance. But, alas, we were sorely mistaken. The flicker grew into a dance of darkness, plunging our ship into an abyss devoid of light.

Oh, the horror that ensued, me hearties! We stumbled around like blindfolded buccaneers, knocking over barrels of rum and stepping on the tails of our loyal parrots. 'Twas chaos! The pirates turned to their trusty lanterns and candles, but they were no match for the brilliance of RIP Lights.

As the months rolled by, we tried every trick in the pirate's handbook to bring back the light. Ye won't believe the sheer number of pirates who offered up their eyepatches for the cause. But no amount of patching could revive the fallen bulbs. RIP Lights were lost to us forever.

So, me hearties, let this be a lesson to ye all. Cherish the light that shines upon ye, for ye never know when it may be taken away. And to the dear RIP Lights, may ye rest in peace, knowing ye brought joy to many a pirate's life, if only for a short while.

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