The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! Them progressive prosecutors in crime-ridden cities be warned! The loss o' federal gold be a devastating blow, arr!

2024-01-17

Arr, me hearties! Pennsylvania Republican Representative Dan Meuser hath put forth a law to make them scallywag state and local prosecutors be hard-fisted against crimes, as the landlubber cities be overrun with villainy! Aye, it be high time to keelhaul those scurvy dogs!

In a humorous 17th-century pirate language, Rep. Dan Meuser, a Republican representative from Pennsylvania, has introduced a bill that aims to hold prosecutors accountable for being "soft-on-crime." Meuser believes that the primary responsibility of the government is to ensure the safety of its citizens, but he claims that woke prosecutors have failed to pursue charges against criminals, even when police officers risk their lives to arrest them. He argues that prosecutors have inserted their own ideological, political agendas into the justice system and have become judge and jury themselves.

Meuser's bill, called the Holding Prosecutors Accountable Act, would make prosecutors' offices that fail to prosecute at least 67% of arrests for violent crimes ineligible for Department of Justice Byrne Grants, which are the leading source of federal justice funding to state jurisdictions. The representative claims that soft-on-crime policies have emboldened criminals, leading to a rise in violence in major cities across the nation.

Meuser specifically points to Washington D.C., where he says ideological prosecutors have only prosecuted 44% of arrests in the 2023 fiscal year. He argues that the failure to prosecute such a high number of arrests has resulted in an increase in violence. Meuser himself has experienced the impact of this violence, with three of his staff members being robbed at gunpoint and his car windows being smashed.

In addition to threatening federal funding, Meuser's legislation would require prosecutors' offices serving larger jurisdictions to publish their prosecution rate data annually. He believes that the American people have the right to know how many criminals their local prosecutors are releasing without pursuing charges.

Meuser concludes that his bill seeks to hold prosecutors accountable and prevent George Soros-backed ideologues from releasing criminals back onto the streets without consequences. He believes that increasing the prosecution rate of dangerous criminals will lead to fewer offenders in communities committing acts of violence.

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