Arrr, mateys! Thar be a scathing report on Uvalde shooting, blastin' the pollywog police response and captains o' the landlubbers!
2024-01-18
Arrr, the Justice Department be deliverin' a scurvy report, me hearties! 'Twas a disgraceful display o' ineptitude by the local police, ye see. Confusion, lack o' courage, and deadly consequences be litterin' these pages, all 575 of 'em! The greatest failure be the officers not recognizin' the shootin' at Robb Elementary as a ruckus caused by an active shooter. They should've swiftly advanced with all their gear, arrr!
In the year of our Lord 2022, the Justice Department hath released a report so damning, it be fit for a scurvy pirate's tale! Arr, me hearties, gather round as I spin ye a yarn about the failures of the local constabulary in the face of danger at Robb Elementary School.This mighty tome, all 575 pages of it, be a catalogue of confusion and a lack of courage, writ large in the annals of law enforcement. It be like a treasure map leading to a bounty of incompetence and deadly consequences, ye see.
Now, the most grievous of their blunders, me mateys, be that the officers who arrived on the scene failed to recognize the situation as an active shooter scenario. They should have been keen as a shark sniffin' blood in the water, and used the resources and equipment at their disposal to charge forward like a fearsome crew aboard a pirate ship, without a moment's hesitation!
Instead, they dilly-dallied, shilly-shallied, and wasted precious time, by Davy Jones' locker! The report be clear, me hearties, that these scallywags had the means to confront the enemy head-on, but chose to cower like landlubbers at the prospect of danger.
Oh, the irony be as thick as a pirate's beard! For these officers be sworn to protect and serve, but their actions be more akin to turning tail and heading for calmer waters. It be a disgrace, me hearties, a blight upon the honor of those who wear the badge.
So, me mateys, let this be a cautionary tale for all ye law enforcement scoundrels out there. When danger be upon ye, be it an active shooter or a marauding pirate, show some mettle! Take up yer weapons and charge forward, for the safety of all who dwell in these treacherous waters!