The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! In the year 1975, three lassies were snatched and stabbed. Arrr, the scurvy dog be caught at last!

2024-01-20

Arr, ye scurvy dogs in Indiana be sayin' that this Thomas Edward Williams, may he rot in Davy Jones' locker, did lay siege upon two fair maidens and a comrade, leavin' 'em stranded in a field of maize. By the grace of the heavens, they survived! The knave met his fate in prison in the year 1983.

In a tale fit for the high seas, mateys, the scoundrel Thomas Edward Williams met his watery grave behind bars after a dastardly attack on two fair maidens and their companion. Yarr, 'tis a tale of triumph and justice, as investigators in the land of Indiana used the sorcery of genetic genealogy to unravel the villain's misdeeds.

Arr, it all started when these brave sisters and their loyal mate found themselves in a frightful pickle. As the sun set upon the fields of corn, a fearsome pirate named Williams set upon them with all the ferocity of a tempest. 'Twas a fight for their very lives, but through sheer grit and cunning, they managed to escape the clutches of this vile marauder.

But the story doesn't end there, me hearties! This rapscallion met his ultimate demise within the cold, unforgiving walls of the prison in the year of 1983. Justice be served, indeed! The investigators, armed with the mystical powers of genetic genealogy, unearthed the truth of this villainous scallywag's misdeeds, proving his guilt beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Oh, the irony of it all! This pirate thought he could escape the long arm of the law, but he underestimated the power of science and the determination of those seeking justice. His wicked deeds may have sent shivers down the spines of those fair maidens, but they emerged stronger than ever, with a tale to tell for the ages.

So let this be a lesson to all ye scoundrels and blackhearted buccaneers out there: no matter how far ye sail, the truth will find ye. And when it does, justice will be swift, unyielding, and as satisfying as a chest of treasure. Yo ho ho, and a bottle of justice!

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