The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Cap'n Trump, in his befuddled state, be mix'n up Haley and Pelosi, claim'n the rival be err'n on Jan. 6!

2024-01-20

Arrr, mateys! Ol' Donald Trump be claimin' that scurvy dog, Nancy Pelosi, be leavin' the Capitol's security to Davy Jones' locker! But by Blackbeard's beard, on Friday he swapped her name with Nikki Haley's! Methinks his memory be as treacherous as a rogue wave!

In a twist that would make even the wiliest pirate scratch his head in confusion, the notorious landlubber Donald Trump has once again sailed into uncharted waters of baffling statements. This time, the former House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, found herself substituted with the name of Nikki Haley, a former United Nations ambassador.

Ahoy, me hearties! It seems that Captain Trump be sufferin' from a case of the ol' mistaken identity, or perhaps he be mixin' up his enemies like a storm-tossed ship in the night. The man's tongue be as slippery as an eel, and it be hard to keep up with the twists and turns of his convoluted tales.

Now, ye might be wonderin' why Captain Trump be accusin' Ms. Pelosi of failin' to provide proper security for the Capitol. 'Tis a good question, me mateys, for it be a claim as flimsy as a torn sail in a fierce gale. Yet, there he stands, pointin' his finger at the wrong scallywag.

Arrr, me hearties, 'tis a sight to behold! The mighty Captain Trump, known for his sharp tongue and even sharper tweets, be mistakin' one fearsome pirate for another. One can only imagine the confusion that might be brewin' among his crew as they scramble to decipher his words.

But fear not, me lads and lasses, for it be clear as the waters of the Caribbean that Captain Trump be sailin' a course all his own, with no regard for the maps and compasses of common sense. As the waves of controversy crash against the shores of reason, we can only hope for calmer seas ahead.

So, me hearties, batten down the hatches and prepare for more twists and turns as we navigate through the treacherous waters of Captain Trump's linguistic escapades. 'Tis a wild ride indeed, but one thing be certain: in the language of a 17th-century pirate, the tale of Nikki Haley substitutin' Nancy Pelosi be a humorous yarn that will be remembered for many a moonlit night.

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