Arrr! Can fair maiden Haley hamper Trump's quest for GOP crown? Texan AG be fuming o'er SCOTUS verdict, more tales o' great news await ye!
2024-01-23
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In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, here be the state of play! Can Haley, a brave lass, slow down Trump's push for the GOP presidential nomination in NH? Arr, matey, continue reading to find out. Ahoy! The fight ain't over! The Texas AG be firing back after them Supreme Court scallywags allow the Biden administration to cut the razor wire. It be a blow to the Texas AG, but he swears the fight ain't over! Avast ye! The Supreme Court be dealin' a blow to a former Hunter Biden business partner. He be tryin' to appeal his criminal conviction, but the Court says nay, ye scurvy dog! Ahoy, mateys! A new documentary be revealin' surprising details about Christopher Reeve's life. The man who played Superman had a mighty outlook on life, says the documentary. Arr, 'tis a sad day indeed! In-N-Out Burger be closin' in Oakland due to crime. It be heartbreaking, but some say 'tis necessary. Shiver me timbers! Nikki Haley be receivin' all six votes from a lone New Hampshire town participatin' in midnight votin'. Arr, mateys, that be a clean sweep! California Senate candidates be gangin' up on the lone Republican on stage. Arr, they be sayin' he be always a Dodger! Dean Phillips be aimin' to show that Biden be unelectable in New Hampshire. Arr, he be settin' his benchmark and resistin' the delusional DNC! A top Republican be sayin' that the GOP can't stick their heads in the sand when it comes to climate change. Arr, it be real, me hearties! An Obama judge be rulin' that CRT trainings can violate federal law after they traumatized a white teacher. Arr, 'tis a risk liability! Anti-Trump pundits be celebratin' DeSantis quittin' even though it helps their biggest bogeyman. Arr, what a financial grift! A single man be enragin' a lass after he asks her to pay for a date. Arr, she be a feminist until it comes time to split the bill! The LA Times editor be implorin' ex-Californians to stop insultin' the state on their way out. Arr, California, there they go! Jason Rantz be tellin' the truth about bein' stranded in an EV at midnight. Them progressives don't want ye to know the truth, mateys! Liz Peek be sayin' that JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon be ready for Trump 2.0. Arr, bring it on, ye Davos elites! The laws be needin' executin' by the executive branch, says Sen. Marco Rubio. Arr, 'tis the truth, me hearties! Jesse Watters be sayin' that the Republican Party be rallyin' around one man. Arr, who could it be? Sean Hannity be warnin' that Nikki Haley be facin' an uphill battle in New Hampshire. Arr, 'twill be a tough fight, mateys! Greg Gutfeld be sayin' that Ron be leavin' us with Nikki and Don. Ahoy, mateys, what a sight! Biden be ditchin' a controversial judicial nominee, arr, cowardly he be! King Charles and Kate Middleton be havin' health woes, exposin' the influence of Hollywood on the monarchy. Arr, 'tis a new monarchy indeed! The high cost of everything be bringin' Gen Zers back to Earth. Arr, less be more, me hearties! The top four quarterbacks be left in the NFL playoffs, arr, who be the best? When a toddler takes a tumble, the family dog be doin' the most surprisin' thing. Arr, what a tale! Folks be noticin' a decline in President Biden, says Andrew Yang. Arr, 'tis a sad state o' affairs, mateys! 'Everyone's' be runnin' for Trump's VP pick, says Karoline Leavitt. Ahoy, who be the lucky matey? And there ye have it, me hearties! That be the news from Fox, arr!