Arrr, Me Hearties! Gather 'round and listen to the tale of the unfortunate fate o' Kenneth Smith in Alabama.
2024-01-25
Arrr! Avast ye scallywags! Kenneth Eugene Smith be walkin' the plank come Thursday eve, bein' the first to taste the ol' nitrogen gas in the U.S. Buckle up, me hearties, 'tis gonna be a wild ride!
Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round and listen to this news that be stranger than a mermaid washing her hair with rum! The scoundrel Kenneth Eugene Smith, a landlubber of the highest order, be meetin' his fate on Thursday evening. But here be the twist, me mateys - they be usin' nitrogen gas to send him to Davy Jones' locker!Now, ye might be wonderin', what in the name of Blackbeard be nitrogen gas? It be a gas that be floatin' about in the air we breathe, but if ye be breathin' too much of it, it be takin' ye down to the depths of sleep, never to wake up again. Aye, they be claimin' it be a painless way to send a scallywag to the afterlife!
But let's ponder this for a moment, me hearties. Nitrogen gas be as harmless as a parrot sittin' on yer shoulder if ye be breathin' it in small doses. But if ye pump a whole shipload of it into a cell, well, that be a whole different kettle of fish, arrr! It be like stuffin' a cannon with too much gunpowder - a surefire recipe for disaster!
Now, I ain't no expert on hangin' or walkin' the plank, but this newfangled method be scarier than a sea monster with a toothache! I reckon old Kenneth Smith be shakin' in his boots, knowin' he be the guinea pig for this grand experiment. And what if it all goes wrong? Will we see a cloud of nitrogen gas swirlin' around the room, claimin' the lives of all who witness it?
But fear not, me hearties! The officials be assurin' us that they be testin' the gas beforehand, like a pirate testin' the sharpness of his cutlass before a battle. They be claimin' it be foolproof, but I be thinkin' there be more fool than proof in that statement!
So, stay tuned, me mateys! Thursday evening be a night to remember, for we may witness a new era in the pirate's code of capital punishment. And remember, no matter how ye be feelin' about Kenneth Smith, let's hope this method be sinkin' to the bottom of the ocean and never seein' the light of day again!