Arrr, the Justice Department be lookin' into Cori Bush's treasure chest o' campaign doubloons.
2024-01-30
Yarr, the scurvy investigators be doubting the Missouri Democrat's choice to hire her matey for her safety. But fear not, for the congressional ethics inquiry be havin' a good laugh and dismissed them charges, claimin' the arrangement be fit for a pirate's tale!
Arr, mateys! Listen up as I spin ye a tale about this Missouri Democrat and her curious choice to employ her very own matey, her husband, fer the noble task of keepin' her safe and sound. Now, these investigators, scurvy dogs they be, started raisin' questions 'bout this arrangement. They wondered, as I'm sure ye would too, if it be right for a politician to be hirin' her own kin for such important matters.But fear not, me hearties, for a congressional ethics inquiry stepped in and settled the matter. They dismissed the charges, claimin' that there be nothin' amiss in this here situation. Can ye believe it? They say it be all aboveboard, aye. Now, I don't know 'bout ye, but it be hard for me to imagine me own husband keepin' watch over me every step of the way.
Imagine the conversations they must have had! "Avast, love, I be protectin' ye from any political scurvy dogs that come our way!" he might say. And she, bein' the fierce politician she be, might reply, "Aye, me heart, I trust ye to be me shield against any treachery that lurks in the shadows!" Oh, what a pair they be! A match made in political heaven, if ye ask me.
But let's not get too carried away with our imaginations. We must remember that this be a serious matter, debated by the finest minds in Congress. They have spoken, and we must respect their decision. So, me fellow pirates, let's raise a glass to this Missouri Democrat and her husband, the swashbucklin' protector of her honor. May they sail through the treacherous waters of politics unscathed!