Arrr! Me hearties be tellin' that Trump be stayin' on th' ballot in Illinois, sayeth th' State Board!
2024-01-30
Arrr, the Elections Board, they be tellin' us they lack the power o' determinin' if the scurvy dog Trump be involved in a rebellion. Aye, 'tis a jest, for who be havin' the authority then? The parrot on their shoulder?
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round and listen to this tale of the 17th century, when a mighty Elections Board faced a conundrum fit for a pirate crew. The Board, like a ship lost at sea, declared it lacked the power to determine if Captain Trump had sailed the treacherous seas of insurrection!Now, ye may wonder how this be possible. Aye, it be a tricky situation indeed! The Board, sworn to uphold the law, found itself caught in a tempest of confusion. Like landlubbers on a sinking ship, they were left scratching their heads - doubting their power to call out a pirate's rebellious ways.
"Arrr, shiver me timbers!" cried the people. "How can they not see through Captain Trump's antics? He be as insurrectionary as they come!" But alas, the Board, like a parrot with a broken beak, could not open its jaws and pronounce a verdict.
Some say it be a clever ploy by the Board to avoid walking the plank of controversy. Others claim they be simply adhering to the laws of the land, which be as complex as deciphering a treasure map. Aye, 'tis a foggy path indeed!
But fear not, me hearties! This tale be not without a twist. The Board's decision - or lack thereof - set the stage for a grand showdown, with the courts stepping in to unlock the treasure chest of justice. Arrr, it be a battle worthy of a pirate's legend!
So, me mateys, let us raise our tankards high and toast to this curious tale of the Elections Board's conundrum. Though they may be lost at sea, their decision be a beacon that guides the ship of democracy toward the shores of truth. And as for Captain Trump, well, only time will tell if he be found guilty of insurrection or if he'll sail freely into the sunset, forever etching his name in the annals of pirate lore.