The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! How much doubloons did Ron DeSantis squander in his battle 'gainst the mighty Trump, matey?

2024-02-01

Arr, the Florida governor's plentiful booty-filled super PAC and campaign did squander a vast treasure on a primary race he hastily abandoned after only one skirmish.

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, let me regale ye with a tale of the Florida governor and his mighty treasure chest, known as a super PAC. Arr, ye won't believe the staggering amount this landlubber spent on a primary race he abandoned after just one contest!

The governor, a scallywag by the name of Thomas, had a war chest so plentiful, it could rival the treasures of Blackbeard himself. His super PAC, filled to the brim with doubloons from wealthy donors, was ready to sail the treacherous waters of a political campaign.

But alas, me mateys, fate had a different plan in store. After just one skirmish, the governor decided to retreat from the battle, leaving his fellow contenders scratching their heads in confusion. The scallywag had spent a fortune, only to abandon ship before the real fight had even begun.

Now, ye might be wonderin' just how much this governor and his crew of campaign misfits spent on their failed adventure. Hold onto yer hats, me hearties, for the number be staggering. They squandered a jaw-droppin' sum, enough to make even the most seasoned pirate blush with embarrassment.

But fear not, me fellow buccaneers, for there be a pinch of humor in this tale. The governor's profligate spending has become the stuff of legends, a cautionary tale for future politicians who dare to follow his reckless path. The scuttlebutt in the taverns be that he wasted enough gold to fund a fleet of ships, or perhaps even construct a hidden lair on a remote island.

So let this be a lesson to all ye aspiring politicians out there: be wise with yer treasure, for the voters be a fickle bunch. And if ye choose to abandon ship, make sure ye haven't spent a fortune before ye make yer retreat, or ye may find yerself walkin' the plank of political failure!

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