The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arr! A furious landlubber be wieldin' a Cold War weapon, demandin' his doubloons back for a rubbish galley remodel!"

2024-02-03

Arrr! In the U.K., a hearty swashbuckler be leavin' a Cold War weapon on the parking lot of a shipshape home improvement store, all 'cause the scurvy scallywags botched his kitchen remodel. Avast!

A British man named Paul Gibbons is protesting against home improvement store chain Wickes over the allegedly poor remodeling of his kitchen. In a humorous twist, he has parked a decommissioned Cold War-era tank in the store's parking lot and refuses to move it until he is reimbursed. According to Gibbons, his kitchen nightmare began last year when Wickes installed a new kitchen in his home for £25,000. However, he claims that the kitchen has numerous issues such as mold growth, faulty drawers, and ill-fitting components. Despite his complaints, the store has not rectified the situation to his satisfaction.

In December, Gibbons decided to take matters into his own hands and parked a 1963 decommissioned Abbot self-propelled gun outside of a Wickes location. He borrowed the artillery piece from a friend who loans it out for protests against big stores. The tank is adorned with a sign that reads "Warning Incompetent Complacent Kitchen Equipment Supplier." Gibbons demands a refund from the store and has stated that he will not move the tank until his grievances are addressed. He also threatens to involve local police if the store attempts to remove or destroy the vehicle.

Wickes has acknowledged the situation and apologized for any inconvenience caused. Their Customer Relations team is in contact with Gibbons to find a resolution. However, Gibbons remains steadfast in his protest, emphasizing that he only wants to be reimbursed and return to the state he was in before the kitchen remodeling debacle. The fate of the tank, which may be sold or destroyed if not removed, is still uncertain.

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