The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The federal parchments reveal a mighty surge in makin' captives walk the plank o' solitary confinement, mateys!

2024-02-06

Avast, me hearties! A fresh scroll, brimming with tales o' Trump and Biden, doth declare that the average length of beholdin' a prisoner alone be lengthier than what the U.N. deems as torture. Arrr, a matter o' concern it be, mateys!

Avast ye, me hearties! A recent reckonin' based on records from the Trump and Biden eras has uncovered a shocking truth: the length of time scoundrels be spendin' in solitary detainment be longer than what the U.N. reckon can be counted as torture. Arrr, that be a scandalous revelation indeed!

Now, ye may be wonderin', what in Davy Jones' locker does this mean? Well, me mateys, it means that these poor souls be made to walk the plank of isolation fer longer than the U.N. has deemed acceptable. Shiver me timbers, that be a grievous transgression!

Picture this, me hearties: ye find yerself locked away from the world, with naught but the scurvy-ridden walls of yer cell fer company. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and before ye know it, ye be starin' at the calendar not knowin' which way be up. 'Tis enough to drive a pirate to drinkin' a barrel of rum!

But fear not, me buckos! The U.N. be standin' tall, raisin' the black flag of justice. They be sayin' that any detention longer than what they reckon can be considered torture goes against the very code of humanity. Arrr, they be fightin' for the rights of these poor souls, trapped in a never-endin' purgatory of solitude.

So, me hearties, let us raise our mugs of grog and toast to this report, for bringin' to light the injustice that be happenin' behind closed cell doors. We be hopin' that this revelation be a call to action for the powers that be, so that no soul need endure such torment again!

Remember, me mateys, we be a crew, and together we can make a difference. Let us join forces, with the U.N. at our side, to ensure that no pirate, or landlubber for that matter, be subjected to such cruel and unusual punishment. Arrr, justice be callin', and it be time we answered the call!

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