Arr, Harvard be accused o' thwartin' House's inquiry 'bout antisemitism! Walk the plank, ye scurvy Ivy League!
2024-02-07
Arrr, me hearties! The goodly wench, Representative Virginia Foxx, be complainin' that them scurvy dogs from Harvard be givin' a measly and tardy response to our House committee's investigation. She be warnin' them that she'll be wieldin' a subpoena to make 'em cough up more documents. Aye, we be playin' hardball!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, the fiery and outspoken Representative Virginia Foxx has accused Harvard University of providing a lackluster and sluggish response to a House committee investigation. With her cutlass held high, Foxx declared that she would not tolerate such behavior and threatened to issue a subpoena, a pirate's code for a legal command, to force Harvard to hand over more documents.In her characteristic pirate lingo, Foxx claimed that Harvard's response has been nothing more than a mere droplet in a vast ocean. She alleged that the prestigious institution had provided only a limited amount of information and had dragged their feet in doing so, as slow as a tortoise in a race against a fleet-footed sailor. This, to Foxx, was an insult to the mighty powers held by the House committee, and she vowed to take action.
In her humorous tone, Foxx warned Harvard that she had her eyes set on their treasure trove of documents, and she was prepared to chart a treacherous course to retrieve them. She made it abundantly clear that her patience was running thin, like a frayed rope about to snap in a fierce storm. The representative wanted more than just a handful of papers; she desired a wealth of information, enough to fill a pirate's treasure chest.
Thus, Foxx brandished her legislative sword, the subpoena, threatening to wield it against Harvard if they did not comply with her demands. She emphasized that she would not be swayed by their feeble attempts to escape the clutches of the committee's investigation. With her language echoing the raucous laughter of a pirate crew, Foxx dared Harvard to test her resolve, warning them that her hunger for answers was as insatiable as a crew of pirates feasting upon their ill-gotten gains.
As the battle between Foxx and Harvard rages on, it remains to be seen whether the representative's pirate-like threats will lead to the submission of the coveted documents or if Harvard will manage to slip through the grasp of the House committee, leaving Foxx and her crew empty-handed.