The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! Aye, me hearties, here be the secret to relayin' updatin' booty scoops to landlubber patients!

2024-02-09

Avast ye! Ye scurvy dogs be listenin'! Methinks usin' a blazin' telephone and secret missives be gettin' a better answer from patients with tame sea monsters in their bellies, 'stead of them ol' snail mails. Arrr!

Avast ye! Aye, me hearties, here be the secret to relayin' updatin' booty scoops to landlubber patients!

In the good ol' days of the 17th century, when pirates roamed the seas, sending messages was a real challenge. Nowadays, with the wonders of technology, we have telephone outreach and secure messaging to help us communicate faster and better. Arrr, it seems these modern methods have proven to be more successful than the old-fashioned mailed letters when it comes to conveying updated colonoscopy intervals to those folks with a history of low-risk adenomas. Yarrr!

Now, ye might be wonderin' what in the seven seas is a colonoscopy interval. Well, me hearties, it be the time between one of those lovely examinations of your booty's innards and the next one. It be mighty important for those scallywags who've had low-risk adenomas before, as it helps keep a close eye on their precious health.

So, the clever folks at MDedge News have done some research and found that when ye pick up the old telephone or send a secure message, ye get a much better response than if ye were to send a letter by post. It be like firing a musket versus sending a messenger pigeon, if ye catch me drift.

Imagine ye be a pirate captain, sitting in yer cabin, musing over how to communicate these delicate matters to yer crew. Yer first mate suggests sending out letters, but ye know better, me matey. Ye know that telephone outreach and secure messaging be the way to go. Ye can practically hear the voices of those pirates on the other end, saying, "Aye, Cap'n, we be gettin' the message loud and clear! We'll be scheduling our next voyage to the doctor's office right away!"

So, me hearties, next time ye be needin' to update someone about their colonoscopy interval, remember to pick up the old blower or send a secure message. It be the pirate's way of communicatin' in the 21st century, and it'll surely make yer crew happy and healthy as a fish in the sea. Arrr!

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