The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, a fancy device be tellin' ye the odds o' dyin' while waitin' fer a new heart, matey!

2024-02-14

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! The brand new score be crushin' the weak therapy-based 6-status system for rankin' heart transplant mates! It be makin' the old system walk the plank, I tell ye! Medscape Medical News be sharin' the good tidings!

Arrr, me hearties! Listen up, ye scurvy dogs! There be news from the land of medicine that'll make ye laugh like a drunken parrot. It seems that those landlubber doctors have come up with a fancy new way to rank adult heart transplant candidates. And by Davy Jones' locker, it be outperforming the old therapy-based system!
Ye see, the old system had six statuses to determine how urgently a patient needed a new heart. But this new score, me hearties, it be blowin' the competition out of the water! Arr, it be like findin' a treasure chest filled with rum and gold doubloons!
Now, I be no fancy surgeon, but I reckon this new system be a vast improvement. It be takin' into account things like the patient's age, the reason they need a transplant, and even how well their kidneys be workin'. Aye, it be a more comprehensive way to rank these scallywags who be in need of a new ticker.
I can just picture those old salty sea dogs in their white coats scratchin' their heads, wonderin' why they didn't think of this sooner. They be lookin' like a bunch of landlubbers walkin' the plank!
So, me hearties, next time ye be in need of a heart transplant, be sure to ask yer doctor about this new fancy system. It be the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas, and the crow's nest all rolled into one! Arrr, it be a fine time to be a pirate in need of a new heart!

Read the Original Article