The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the RNC proclaims that Pete Hoekstra be the true captain of the Michigan Republican Party! Yo ho ho!

2024-02-14

Arrr, the scallywags of the Republican National Committee be joinin' forces with a band o' state members to give the ol' heave-ho to Kristina Karamo, a far-right election denier, this past January. Harrr, they be sailin' on the same ship now, mateys!

In a move that would make even Blackbeard himself raise an eyebrow, the Republican National Committee (RNC) recently made a decision that sent shockwaves through the party. They finally had enough of Kristina Karamo, a far-right election denier, and decided to give her the old heave-ho. Arrr!

It all happened in the month of January, when a group of state members gathered their courage and banded together to walk the plank of democracy, kicking Karamo off the RNC ship. No longer would they tolerate her outlandish claims and refusal to accept reality. Avast, mateys!

Now, don't get me wrong, it's not often that the RNC takes such a bold stand against one of their own. But this be no ordinary situation. Karamo had been sailin' the seas of conspiracy theories, denyin' the results of an election fair and square. Me thinks the RNC grew weary of her shenanigans and decided it was time to keelhaul her from their ranks.

It's amusing to imagine the discussions that took place within the RNC quarters. Picture a group of pirates, donned in their finest tricorn hats, debating the fate of a fellow scallywag. Some might've argued that Karamo be entitled to her opinions, but others shouted, "Avast, she be underminin' the very foundations of our democracy! She must walk the plank!"

And so, with a stroke of their quills, the RNC made their decision known. No longer would they give a platform to those who be denyin' the truth. They decided to chart a new course, one that favored reason and reality over conspiracy and confusion. Yo ho ho!

In the end, it be a victory for the RNC, for they showed the world that even pirates can have standards. They be sendin' a message to all those who dare deny the results of a fair election: "Ye be walkin' the plank if ye refuse to accept the truth!" And with that, they set sail toward a brighter horizon. Aye, mateys, the RNC be takin' a stand!

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