The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast, me hearties! This fair lass from Nebraska hath reportedly skewered those who dared besmirch her shipshape domicile!

2024-02-15

Avast! A fair lass from the heartlands of Nebraska didst turn as red as a lobster, methinks, when her mateys dared to speak ill of her tidy ship. The scallywag didst brawl and even plunge a dagger into one poor soul. Yarrr, cleanliness be a dangerous game indeed!

In a bizarre incident in Nebraska, a woman allegedly stabbed her friend after the friend commented on the untidiness of her home. The incident occurred in the presence of the homeowner's two children, adding to the shocking nature of the event.
According to the Lincoln Police Department's incident report and the arrest affidavit obtained by Fox News Digital and KOLN, officers responded to a 911 call in the early hours of Sunday. Two witnesses informed the police that 24-year-old Tatiana Iniguez attacked them after they made remarks about the cleanliness of her home, especially since there were four young children present.
Iniguez reportedly choked one of the women during the altercation, leading the other woman to intervene. In response, Iniguez began punching her in the head. After the victims managed to separate Iniguez, she allegedly grabbed a knife and threatened to kill one of them while attacking her. Police confirmed that one of the victims suffered a stab wound below her eye.
The incident report also noted the unsanitary conditions of Iniguez's home, describing it as having an "extreme amount of dog feces in the basement and dead mice."
Iniguez was arrested and charged with second-degree assault and possession of a deadly weapon while committing a felony. She is scheduled to appear in court on March 14.
This peculiar incident serves as a reminder that the consequences of criticizing someone's tidiness can sometimes be quite severe, especially when it involves pirate-like behavior such as stabbing. It is also a cautionary tale of the importance of maintaining a clean and sanitary living environment to avoid such unfortunate altercations. Let this be a lesson to all: never underestimate the potential dangers of untidiness, for it may lead to a pirate-like confrontation and the need to defend oneself with a deadly weapon.

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