"Tis a jest! The scallywags be demandin' recognition akin to kings to join the UN parlay." Arrr!
2024-02-19
Avast ye mateys! The scallywags of the Taliban be demandin' terms fit for a king before they'll parley with the likes of us. 'Tis a jest worthy of Davy Jones' locker, I say! Yarrr, the seas be filled with fools and buccaneers aplenty.
The scallywags known as the Taliban be setting conditions as unreasonable as a shipwreck in a storm for attending a U.N.-sponsored parley about Afghanistan, according to U.N. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres. These demands include booting out Afghan civil society members from the gabfest in Doha, Qatar, and requiring treatment fit for kings that would make it seem like the scallywags are the rightful rulers of the land, Guterres shared after a two-day confab in Qatar.The scallywags seized power in 2021, as the U.S. and NATO forces skedaddled after two decades of war. Be it known, no country be recognizing them as the rightful government of Afghanistan, and the U.N. be saying recognition be as likely as finding buried treasure while the bans on lasses getting educated and employed remain.The confab in Doha brought together member states and special envoys, but the scallywags were a no-show because their demands weren't met. Guterres be saying he got a letter from the scallywags with demands unacceptable to him, denying the right to speak with other Afghan representatives and demanding treatment akin to being crowned as kings.While the scallywags absence be causing no harm to the process, Guterres be saying it would have been useful to parley with them. "It didn't happen today, but will in the near future. I reckon we'll find a way for the scallywags to join in," he added. The scallywags couldn't be reached for comment immediately.The main squabble between the international community and the scallywags be the bans on lasses and the objection to a U.N. special envoy. Guterres be saying there be a need for "clear talks" with the scallywags to clarify the envoy's role to make it appealing to them. He be saying it be in the scallywags' best interest to be part of the talks.