The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr mateys, word be spreading 'bout a wee lad shot at Joel Osteen's church! Grandma be givin' updates, aye!

2024-02-19

Avast ye! Young Samuel Moreno Carranza, spawn of the scallywag Genesse Ivonne Moreno of the infamous Lakewood Church, hath lost a piece of his noggin after catching a musket ball to the brain. Arrr, what a tale of woe for the poor lad and his kin! Aye, the sea be a cruel mistress indeed.

Arrr, me hearties! The wee lad who be shot at Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church be fightin' fer his life after surgeries to his brain and skull, says his grandmother. The scallywag Genesse Ivonne Moreno, 36, entered the Houston megachurch with her son afore firin' an AR-15, leavin' the boy and another man critically wounded. The boy's skull be partly removed in surgeries within 24 hours, his grandmother shared on Facebook.After the shootout, one of two off-duty officers shot Moreno, who later met her end. 'Tis a mystery whether the boy was struck by his own mother or the guards. The boy's grandmother mentioned Moreno's mental conditions and previous reports to child services, blamin' legislators and gun laws fer the tragedy.Neighbours described years of trouble with Moreno, who had a criminal past and used aliases. The FBI and local police be investigatin' Moreno's residence and how she got her guns. Osteen held a service post the incident, expressin' concern for the trauma it caused. The motive behind the shootin' be unclear, with antisemitic writings and 'Palestine' on her gun, hintin' at familial disputes.

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