The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, House scallywags be listenin' to James Biden's tales. Trump be callin' out Biden for a swashbucklin' debate!

2024-02-21

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In ye olde news, the scallywags known as Republicans have managed to get Biden's brother to walk the plank and testify in the impeachment probe. It seems he be using the family name for ill-gotten profit. Meanwhile, Trump be challenging Biden to a duel during a Fox News town hall, declaring 'I'll do it right now!' Arrr!A new twist be revealed in the saga of an FBI informant accused of lying about Biden's ties to Ukraine, with whispers of 'extensive' contacts with high-level Russian scallywags. A border town resident be feeling uneasy as illegal crossings soar, making unsettling discoveries outside their home.In a tragic turn of events, America's oldest gun maker be closing its doors after more than 200 years, fleeing New York like a landlubber running from a shark-infested sea. A farming expert be blasting Biden for his 'mind-boggling' regulations that be threatening to cripple the industry, saying it 'doesn't seem very American.'

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