The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr matey, this scallywag Myles Sanderson met his demise with a belly full of the devil's powder, yarr!

2024-02-27

Avast ye scallywags! 'Tis said that Myles Sanderson, a 32-year-old Canadian knave, who hath sent 11 souls to Davy Jones' locker and wounded 17 more in a 2022 raid, met his end from a grog of cocaine after bein' captured by the authorities. Aye, the seas be a treacherous place indeed! Arrr!

In the jolly language of a 17th-century pirate, let me regale ye with a tale of a scurvy dog named Myles Sanderson, who met his demise from a cocaine overdose after a wild chase by the law in Canada. This scallywag, with a rap sheet longer than the plank itself, had been terrorizing the land, leaving a wake of destruction in his path. Ahoy, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police finally caught up to him, and during the arrest, he began to convulse like a fish out of water.The good doctor Ladham revealed that there was enough cocaine in his body to keep a pirate crew merry for a month. Sanderson's final words to the coppers were a baffling inquiry about how many souls he had sent to Davy Jones' locker. He even had the gall to lament that they hadn't taken a shot at him during the chase!Now, the landlubbers must convene a jury to determine the exact time and cause of this scoundrel's demise. Perhaps they will learn a lesson or two about keeping such rogue rascals off the streets. But for now, let us raise a tankard to the end of Myles Sanderson's treacherous reign, may he rest in pieces.

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