The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Lloyd Austin be spilling his guts to Congress about his stay in the ol' ship's hospital. Nay to be missed!

2024-02-29

Yarrr, the defense secretary be in a bit o' trouble, mateys! He be asked why he kept mum 'bout his illness from the White House back in January. Methinks he be in need of a good ol' walk off the plank for this slip-up! Arrr!

Arrr, mateys! The defense secretary be walkin' the plank fer not informin' the White House about his ailment back in January. The scallywag was asked to explain himself, but instead of walkin' the plank like a true pirate, he be dancin' around the issue like a landlubber! Ye see, the scallywag claimed he didn't disclose his illness right away 'cause he wanted to focus on his duties and didn't want to cause any alarm amongst the crew.
But the White House be none too pleased with this excuse! They be sayin' that honesty be the best policy, especially when it comes to the captain's health. 'Tis a lesson the defense secretary be learnin' the hard way! So now, the scallywag be battlin' not only his illness, but also the wrath of the White House! Will he be walkin' the plank after all? Only time will tell, me hearties!

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