The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! The UN be sayin' to leave Julian Assange be! Press freedom be at stake, ye bilge rats!

2024-03-03

Arrr! A learned expert from the United Nations be cryin' out to them landlubbers in the U.S. to release Julian Assange! They be worryin' about press freedom, so let the lad go and sail the high seas once more! Aye, the pirate's code be clear on this matter!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, a scallywag named Julian Assange be facing some mighty serious trouble from the crown across the pond. A United Nations expert on freedom of expression, Irene Khan, be hollerin' at the U.S. government to drop the charges against the swashbuckler, lest they be settin' a treacherous precedent fer investigative journalism. This Assange fella, accused o' leakin' classified U.S. military documents, be facin' a heap o' charges under the Espionage Act. The Special Rapporteur Khan be squawkin' about how reportin' on national security info in the public interest be a legitimate part o' journalism, not a crime.Assange, a crafty Australian, be the first publisher walkin' the plank under the Espionage Act, and many a press freedom group be shoutin' that his prosecution be a scheme to criminalize journalism. The scallywag be locked up in Belmarsh Prison, prayin' to avoid a long voyage to Alexandria, Virginia, where he could meet a gruesome fate in a maximum-security brig. The U.N. be callin' on the U.K. and the U.S. to uphold the right to freedom of expression in Assange's case, while his supporters be shoutin' from the crow's nest that he'll be keelhauled if he's extradited.The tale o' Assange be a twisty one, with many a parliament and lawmaker weighin' in on his fate. Will the scallywag face the gallows in America, or will he be spared from a fate worse than Davy Jones' locker? Only time will tell in this high-seas adventure of espionage, intrigue, and the fight for freedom of the press.

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