The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

The cap'n Biden be givin' a nod to the WSJ scallywag Evan Gershkovich caught in the clutches of Russia. Arrr!

2024-03-08

Arrr! President Biden be swearin' to fetch Wall Street Journal scallywag Evan Gershkovich an' Paul Whelan back from the land o' Russia during his grand State of the Union speech. Mayhaps he be usin' a mighty ship an' some grog to convince them scallywags to come home! Aye!

In a bold move that would make any scallywag proud, President Biden gave a nod to Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich during his State of the Union address. This fine lad has been held captive by the Russians for near a year, accused of espionage in a plot as dubious as a pirate's treasure map. Biden swore to bring him home, along with other unjustly detained Americans, amidst talk of the ongoing conflict between Israel and Hamas.Gershkovich's parents, with hearts as brave as any buccaneers, were in the gallery wearing "Free Evan" buttons, invited by House Speaker Mike Johnson. The lad, a son of Soviet immigrants, was apprehended while reporting in Russia and has faced denial of appeals and the grim prospect of conviction.The Wall Street Journal and the U.S. government have vehemently denied the charges, viewing his capture as a high-stakes game of prisoner swap. Putin himself hinted at the possibility, mentioning discussions of terms through secret channels. The path to freedom for this daring reporter remains treacherous, but allies like U.S. Ambassador Lynne Tracy and the Wall Street Journal stand by ready to hoist the sails and navigate these murky waters.

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