The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ye olde autopsy be sayin' Nex Benedict chose to walk the plank meself! Aye, he be a true pirate!

2024-03-13

Arr matey, a scallywag of a medical examiner hath discovered a vile concoction of drugs in the 16-year-old landlubber in Oklahoma. The poor soul met Davy Jones' locker after a skirmish in the lasses' privy. Yar, what a tale of woe!

Arrr matey, ye won't believe the tragic tale of this young scallywag from Oklahoma! A medical examiner uncovered a devilish cocktail of drugs in the poor lad's system. Just 16 years old, and already mixed up in such dangerous dealings. It be a sad day indeed!
It all started with a scuffle in the lassies' lavatory, and ended with the young buccaneer walking the plank into the great beyond. Ah, what a cruel fate to befall one so young. The lad bein' nonbinary only adds another layer of intrigue to this harrowing yarn.
One can only imagine the wild adventures and misadventures that led to such a tragic end. Perhaps the lad got mixed up with the wrong crowd, or maybe it was just a case of bad luck. Whatever the reason, it be clear that the lad's journey came to a premature and untimely end.
So let this be a cautionary tale to all ye young scallywags out there - beware the dangers of the high seas of life, for they be treacherous indeed. May the poor lad rest in peace, and may his story serve as a warning to us all.

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