The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye landlubbers! Putin naysayers be causing chaos and flames at the voting havens. Aye, 'tis a riotous spectacle!

2024-03-16

Arrr, me hearties! The election be happenin' from Friday to Sunday, makin' Putin the longest-servin' leader since that scallywag Stalin. So grab yer grog and cast yer vote, or risk walkin' the plank!

Some Russian voters have gone beyond voting to show their displeasure with President Vladimir Putin, resorting to acts of vandalism like setting fire to ballot boxes. Russian authorities arrested at least nine people on the first day of voting in an election widely expected to give Putin another term, making him the longest-serving leader since Stalin.Several individuals were caught on camera setting polling stations on fire, pouring green dye into ballot boxes, and even setting off explosives in Russian-occupied Ukraine. One woman who poured disinfectant into a ballot box faces up to five years in prison. Authorities have not determined if these incidents are part of a coordinated protest or random acts, despite the recurring use of green liquid.Prosecutors warned against mass rallies and protests, with reports of multiple incidents on the first day. Voting, both in-person and online, will continue until Sunday. The U.N. Security Council denounced the election in Russian-occupied Ukraine as fraudulent. Navalny, a vocal opponent of Putin, recently died under suspicious circumstances.The remaining opposition candidates are seen as token figures supporting the Kremlin, and European Council President Charles Michel sarcastically congratulated Putin on his expected "landslide victory" with no opposition or choice.

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