The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! National security adviser Jake Sullivan sails to Kyiv while Washington be holdin' up the gold doubloons!

2024-03-20

Arrr, 'twas Jake Sullivan, adviser to President Joe Biden, who did venture to Kyiv, Ukraine on Wednesday to declare our continued support in repelling the scurvy Russian invaders. Aye, we be standin' strong with our Ukrainian mates in this fight!

Avast, me hearties! President Joe Biden's top matey, Jake Sullivan, made a surprise visit to Kyiv to assure the fine folk of Ukraine that the U.S. will be standin' by their side in their battle against Russia's invasion. Aye, Sullivan be hopin' that the scallywags in Washington will finally cough up the gold for military and economic aid to help Ukraine fend off the Russian forces who be plunderin' their lands.During a press conference, Sullivan proclaimed that a strong bipartisan vote would be comin' from Congress to support Ukraine in their fight for freedom. The delay in providin' aid be acknowledged, but Sullivan be swearin' that the booty will arrive soon enough.The goal be for Ukraine to emerge from the conflict as a sovereign, democratic nation. Sullivan be makin' it clear that the U.S. be standin' firm in their support for Ukraine, despite the holdup in Congress.It be a matter of honor and friendship for the U.S. to aid their ally in need. Sullivan's voyage to Kyiv be a symbol of the unwavering commitment of the United States to stand with Ukraine against the brutal invasion by Russia. The future and security of Ukraine be intertwined with that of the United States, and Sullivan be swearin' to help both countries in this fight against tyranny.

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