The landlubber escaped his island cell, only to meet his fate with a swift hit-and-run soon after. Aye, karma strikes!
2024-03-23
Avast ye landlubbers! The scallywag who made a daring escape from Kauai's brig be now sufferin' from a hit-and-run! Arrr, seems even the lawless must beware the dangers of the open road! Aye, let this be a lesson to all ye buccaneers!
An unfortunate scallywag, Matthew J. Ornellas Jr., made a daring escape from the Kauai Community Correctional Center in the wee hours of the morn, only to meet a most unpleasant fate shortly thereafter. Running along the Kuhio Highway like a landlubber in distress, he was smacked by a passing carriage, leaving him in a right sorry state.The poor soul was found by correctional officers not far from the hoosegow, gravely wounded and promptly taken to the sawbones for mending. In his woeful condition, he remained in the care of the constables, unable to make a quick getaway.The scallywag had been serving time for peddling dangerous potions, all the while trying to dodge the clutches of the law. His barrister, John Calma, was tight-lipped about the escape, focusing instead on the probation transgressions of his client.With the correctional center offering a motley array of programs to help scallywags turn over a new leaf, the aging facilities of Hawaii are in dire need of a good swabbing and polishing to better the lives of miscreants like Ornellas. Let this tale serve as a cautionary yarn for any buccaneer thinking of making a run for it in the land of aloha.
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