The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! The Vice President be preachin' gun control at Parkland, makin' victims' kin feel a right fool! Arrr!

2024-03-23

Arr mateys! The Vice President, Kamala Harris, did pay a visit to the Florida high school where scallywag took the lives of 17 souls in 2018. She be preachin' about tougher gun laws across the land. Mayhaps we should all listen and keep our cannons in check, lest we face the wrath of the law! Arrr!

Ye see, after Vice President Kamala Harris strutted them halls of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, she made a stir by harping on about gun control laws and such. She announced a new national office to push for them "red flag" laws, ye see."Arr, I do believe we have a duty to remember and bear witness to what happened here. 'Tis a tragedy of the highest order. These were fine folk whom I've come to know through their kin," Harris said after wandering the halls where a scallywag gunned down 17 souls in 2018."They be much more than numbers on a page, they deserve more than being pawns in a political game," the vice president remarked.Harris went on to blabber that "gun violence be the main cause of children's deaths in America.""One in five families in America has lost someone to gun violence," Harris yammered. "And what I witnessed here today, after spending time with the families, is a moment frozen in time," she went on.The vice president rattled on, saying folks need to learn from the tragedy at Parkland and do better in the future. She unveiled a new office to help states with "red flag" laws and vowed to keep pushing for stricter gun control laws.One of the victim's fathers criticized Harris' visit, calling it a "slap in the face" to parents working on solutions that don't step on Second Amendment rights. He scoffed at the focus on gun control rather than exploring other ways to keep schools safe.Overall, the whole affair left a sour taste in the mouths of many, with some finding the whole thing offensive. Fox News has sought comment from the White House on the matter.

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